Stay Classy, Chicago

Last night I made a brief journey by foot and CTA to a friend's cocktail party. On my way to the train I walked alongside parked cars on the boulevard near my place. As I walked past an older SUV I noticed a man in the driver's seat, fully reclined. My first thought was that he was sleeping, a not uncommon sight around here. As I kept walking past I noticed him furiously masturbating under his pants. Yes, the night was obviously headed in an interesting direction.

Moments later I'm waiting for the bus at one of the busiest intersections in Chicago, just watching the cars go by. The light turns green and a cab leads a line of cars toward me. A woman hails the cab and the driver makes a quick stop so she can hop in. Two cars back an Audi lets out a series of prematurely impatient honks. This prick must be in a quite the rush, I assume. The cab pulls away and I see that the Audi is still standing. I thought he was in a hurry? The man driving is fiddling around with something and then I see him lean over to his attractive middle-aged female passenger and hold a key up to her nose for a bump. She looked over at me staring and I gave her a sarcastic thumbs up.

Cheers to you, citizens.


I think I might weigh 300 lbs if it weren't for all the biking lately. Here's my Saturday morning feast along with a shot of the heavily used skillet and the warming drawer that keeps pancakes toasty.